madysenjulia

Walking Away.

Mon, 10 Nov 2008 18:47:22 GMT

It is so hard for me to just walk away.
Walk away from someone who you care so much about.
Someone who you love so much that words can not even explain.
Words can not even explain how hard it is to walk away from this person.
This person is making me want to just walk away.
Walking away will just hurt me more.
But is the hurt going to turn out to be something good?

Finally.

Fri, 07 Nov 2008 22:02:23 GMT

I'm finally throwing away the carton of icecream.
I'm finally moving on.
I'm finally happy.
I'm finally content with my life.
Thanks.

Mind.

Sun, 26 Oct 2008 22:29:22 GMT

For now I just go to bed every night with you in my mind.
and the understanding that I'm not in yours.

understatement.

Sat, 04 Oct 2008 20:30:38 GMT

we are always asked to understand the other person's viewpoint no matter how out-dated foolish or obnoxious. one is asked to view their total error their life-waste with kindliness, especially if they are aged. but age is the total of our doing. they have aged badly because they have lived out of focus, they have refused to see. not their fault? whose fault? mine? I am asked to hide my viewpoint from them for fear of their fear. age is no crime but the shame of a deliberately wasted life among so many deliberately wasted lives is.

What you want to be

Tue, 30 Sep 2008 03:34:39 GMT

This moment went by too fast
It slipped right through both our hands
im still pretty but i feel like a car crash
pull me over to the side of the road
i dont need you
but i hate that you feel like home

if this is what you want to be
then be it without me
then i dont need you
no, no, then i dont need you at all
if this is what you want to be
then be it without me
then i dont need you
no, no, then i dont need you at all

then i dont need you at all

i took the last of his cash
its only resin and ash
im still pretty but you already knew that
already knew
in 20 years well wake up in bed
ask me if i even care
i wont be there but youll hate that im in your head

if this is what you want to be
then be it without me
then i dont need you
no, no, then i dont need you at all
if this is what you want to be
then be it without me
then i dont need you
no, no, then i dont need you at all

then i dont need you at all
no no no
i dont need you at all

let me tell you something
youre crazy youre crazy
youre selfish youre selfish
you make me so helpless
you make me so helpless
youre crazy youre crazy
youre selfish youre selfish
you make me so helpless
i hate who i have to be with out you next to me
i hate who i have to be without you letting me
but youre crazy youre crazy
youre selfish youre selfish
you make me
you make me

if this is what you want to be
then be it without me
then i dont need you
no, no, then i dont need you at all
if this is what you want to be
then be it without me
then i dont need you
no, no, then i dont need you at all

no no no

no no oh

then i dont need you at all

This is how I feel, this song explains everything

Confusion.

Sun, 28 Sep 2008 22:50:46 GMT

I'm stressed.
I'm confused.

I can't stop thinking.

Wishes.

Thu, 25 Sep 2008 07:04:11 GMT

I wish we could have worked it out.
I wish you could be my own.

It just hurts seeing you being hers.
It just hurts seeing you being with her.
It just hurts knowing your with her.
It just hurts wondering what your doing.

I wish I didn't worry.
I wish it didn't hurt.

Why am I still worrying?
Why am I still loveing you?
Love me back, for once.

Learning.

Tue, 23 Sep 2008 17:13:36 GMT

Life is basically an adventure. To find who you are. To experience situations. To learn about explanations.

I've learned that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.
I've learned that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
I've learned that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. The same goes for true love.
I've learned that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.
I've learned that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be and I still am trying.
I've learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.
I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel and what situation you are in and no excuses.
I've learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you.
I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.
I've learned that everyone lies and everyone's a liar.
I've learned that my best friends and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.
I've learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down, will be the ones to help you get back up.
I've learned that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel to you.
I've learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
I've learned you can't know if someone loves you, you'll just feel the hope.
I've learned that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them, and less to do with how old you are.
I've learned that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others as I would forgive you.
I've learned girls are so rude and cruel these days, and that's a none fact.
I've learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief, no one has sympathy these days as much as I want it.
I've learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become and do.
I've learned that your always going to want to be better than everyone else.
I've learn that beliefs just means your believing nothing is real.
I've learned that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other and just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do love each other.
I've learned that you shouldn't be so egoistical in life, it takes you no where.
I've learned that two people can look at the same thing and see something totally different.
I've learned that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.
I've learned that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you you will find the strength to help.
I've learned that the people you care about most in life are sometimes taken from you too soon.

It's quite funny how all of this works out and everyone will have a negative or positive comment towards this. I'm starting to learn to take things the way they are and not take anything for granted.

Drowning.

Sat, 13 Sep 2008 02:27:43 GMT

I feel like crying. I feel happy though.
I thought about someone, I wanted to txt them.
But I didn't. I miss our conversations.
But I don't miss him nor his voice.
I hate his attuide and actions.
I just feel likes he's completely out of my life.
And it bothers me.
I wish he changed when he said he was and did.

Forgetting.

Sat, 13 Sep 2008 00:02:06 GMT

I wish you would tell me you forgot.
I wish you would tell me you didn't know my name.
I wish you would tell me forget about all those moments.
I wish you would tell me you forgot about me.

We can act like we never meet.
We can act like we never did anything.
We can act like those memories arn't memories.

I'd be happy.
You'd be happy.

Then we will meet again.
And be even more happy.

We can make this work, promise!

MadysenJulia thinks True Love means....

Wed, 10 Sep 2008 03:10:09 GMT

There really isnt a defintion you can give it. But I know what it means. I've realized what it means.... overtime. True love is basically strong love, love that doesn't fade away. Bestfriends. Your bestfriend will always be your true love. You can't love someone more than your bestfriend. Parents aren't as loved as you would love a bestfriend. Rather its a girl or a boy, this also doesn't mean your gay. True love is when you can't stay mad at someone. When you don't talk to someone for over a year, and when you see them you still love them and have feelings. It's when you'd never forget anything. You never try and hurt the person and if you do, you tell them, so you can say sorry. It's also when you like can't ever hate the person but you want to soooo badly. Then when you want to run back but you know you can't. Its so many feelings. And your always happy :) But then you can be sad, but you'd cheer up right when you hear their voice. It's so many feelings. So many ways of loving.

True love is basically just such a big friendship that has so much love in it.

Right now...

Tue, 09 Sep 2008 04:27:07 GMT

......it just seems like no one understands how I feel. I miss someone so much and I don't know what to do. I want to tell them how I really feel but can I? No. I could never do that. It's just too hard. I want to sit down with this special someone, talk about old times, talk about changing, talk about what I've been lying, about what I've been doing on this great of a break. Then maybe get some feedback of yelling, then everything is all let out. I want to have the person knowing I still love them. Knowing I still care about them. Knowing they are still here for me through whatever. I don't even think this person cares. I think they could careless and it breaks my heart knowing all of this is my fault. I just want to be held, comforted and loved.

I never make the right choices any more.
I feel so doubtful, and I hate feeling this way.

Life is going good for me now.

Sat, 25 Nov 2006 08:57:04 GMT

Thanks for anyone who helped me get through this.